(via email)
THE BE ATTITUDES
by the Christian Coalition
Roberta Combs, President
- Blessed are the rich, for the fruits of their non-labor shall trickle down to the poor.
- Blessed are the unforgiving, for they shall never let innocence get in the way of punishment.
- Blessed are the censors, for by deciding what we can see and read, they shall protect our ignorance.
- Blessed are the faiths from Israel, for the rest aren’t really worth considering, especially the folks who worship cows or that fat guy.
- Blessed are the itemizers, for when they give, they also receive.
- Blessed are the legal lotteries, for the winnings from the low-income players make up for the tax cuts to the rich.
- Blessed are the redundant, who spend millions passing laws against things already illegal.
- Blessed are the preachers of proper political persuasion, for they include the Book of Roberta in their sermons.
- Blessed are those of weak faith, who need the government to reinforce their faith with graven images on walls of secular power.
- Blessed are the Luddites, for they know a tool of Satan when they see it.
- Blessed are the unborn, for they are life while the mother is not.
- Blessed are the fathers, for they own the wombs of their daughters, and sometimes prove it.
- Blessed are the doctrinarians, who understand that the Constitution of the United States can be Satan’s work.
- Blessed are the really strict doctrinarians, for fascism is the only way to salvation.
- Blessed are the exception-makers, for they believe that laws of the land should not apply to everybody
- Blessed are the bigots, who measure by their own insecurities and intolerances the rights of other citizens.
- Blessed are the ignorance advocates, for they see education as the path to liberalism and Satanism.
- Blessed are the sexually insecure, for without laws and public scorn, they might choose to be homosexual.
- Blessed are the idolaters, for they know that the burning bush probably garbled God’s message.