(via email)
- A can of Skoal mysteriously floats through the air.
- Blood drips out of your simulated wood paneling.
- The eyes on the velvet Elvis painting move.
- The room is spinning, and you’re not even drunk yet.
- That car in your front yard isn’t on blocks — it’s levitating by itself.
- Your dog, Bo, gets sucked into the TV set, and he’s blocking your view of rasslin’.
- That mysterious scratching below the floorboards? The Telltale Raccoon.
- The chain the ghost rattles is attached to his wallet.
- You feel an eerie presence every time “Freebird” plays on the radio.
- The trailer is shaking, but there’s no tornado in sight.
- Your Dale Earnhardt bed sheets have eyeholes cut in them.
- The ghost is completely invisible except for the tobacco juice running down his chin.
- Mysterious footsteps seem to be stomping out “Achy Breaky Heart.”
- There’s a funny howlin’ noise comin’ from the corn crib–no wait, that’s Jimmy.
- You hear strange moaning—but only during Shania Twain videos.
- You’re missing four PBR’s, and the missus only drinks Old Milwaukee.
- The lights turn on and off even though you paid the power bill.
- You hear blood-curdling screams, but both neighbors are still in jail.
- You get a mysterious phone call that says, “I know what you did last NASCAR race.”
- Instead of saying “boo” the ghost says “boo-ya’ll!”
- The veneer of window grime looks just like Calvin… and he’s peeing on YOU!!
- Instead of naked women, your playing cards, all of a sudden, have pictures of covered bridges on them.
- The folks on Jenny Jones discuss domestic problems that eerily resemble your own.
- You get a creepy feelin’ and it ain’t because Richard Simmons is on TV.
- You come home one day and it’s clean.