The Michael E. Schmidt FAQ

This website is updated periodically as time allows.

Quick Links

• Who was Michael E. Schmidt?
• The Many Identities of Michael E. Schmidt
• Michael E. Schmidt, In His Own Words
• Interesting/Funny Stuff from Others about Schmidt
• Awards and Nominations
• Michael E. Schmidt v. Wikipedia

Who was Michael E. Schmidt?

Michael E. Schmidt originally trolled rec.arts.music.drumcorps in the late 1990s. He quickly became known there as "the greatest troll ever to smear their fecal verbiage upon [rec.arts.marching drumcorps]". By 2000 he had extended his range of activities to rec.music.makers.trumpet, where his outlandish puffery about his trumpet playing quickly gained him notoriety which extends this day well beyond Usenet.

Notable Occurrences in the Life of Schmidt

On November, 1996, Schmidt and his ex-wife had a warrant in debt filed against them in Lynchburg, VA, by Central National Bank. The judgment was not satisfied until May of 2000.

On October, 2001, Schmidt was sentenced by the State of Georgia to one year's probation for disorderly conduct (case #01-D-01199-S2, State vs. Schmidt).

On December, 2001, Schmidt participated in Ezeliel Prayer Ministry's rally protesting The Love Shack #2, an adult emporium in Norcross, GA. Schmidt claimed that he received death threats via email and "had to have undercover security".

On October, 2007, Schmidt's attempts to glorify himself using Wikipedia were summarily deleted by Wikipedia's staff.

On March 7, 2022, Schmidt stopped being alive.

The Many Identities of Michael E. Schmidt

From September, 2007 to early March, 2008, Mike Schmidt posted regularly on The Fighting Fundamentals Forum under the name "tennesseetrumpet". As of late March 2008 he was still harassing users with personal messages.

Starting in November, 2007, Schmidt began posting on The Trumpet Herald forums under the account name "mcahynuacrkd" (alternating letters from athe names "maynard" and "chuck" with each name used to form the aggregate).

Usenet

The many identities of Michael E. Schmidt, most recent to his first traces on Usenet. In early March, 2008, Schmidt claimed (for a second time) to be retiring from posting on Usenet.

vettepassesyou (usatrumpet@yahoo.com)

First post: 4/28/2009 (after "retiring" from usenet)

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

maynardsghost@fastermail.com

First post: 11/2/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

dontbeacockroach@dcemail.com

First post: 10/26/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

mikey_schmidt@yahoo.com

First post: 10/25/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Some choice quotes:

• Most of the African Americans live there because the have class and want, if you will, their children to grow up being more like the yuppie culture than the average African American culture, if you know where I am coming from.

nomine@paris.com

First post: 10/24/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

ydidntyouleavemewikalone@mindless.com

First post: 10/6/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: More of Schmidt's reaction to Wikipedia banning his autobiography.

whydidyoutrashdawici@madonnafan.com

First post: 10/6/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Schmidt's self-created Wikipedia page is deleted by Wikipedia for violation of their terms of service. Schmidt throws a hissy fit.

stardustsleepwalker@yahoo.com

First post: 7/2/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Around July 4, 2007, Schmidt claimed to be "retiring from usenet and google groups".

Some choice quotes:

• I like Herb Alpert's music because I like his music.

Doctor.Nomine@gmail.com

First post: 5/31/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

worldsgreatesttrumpetplayer@yahoo.com

First post: 4/28/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

ustkamenogorsk@graffiti.net

First post: 4/20/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

voroshilovgrad@rock.com

First post: 4/20/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

trumpetofthelord@rock.com

First post: 4/18/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Posts on one thread with three different email accounts, signing all of them

13a4a@rock.com

First post: 3/30/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

13A4A is a designation for a lead trumpet mouthpiece manufactured by Schilke.

Some choice quotes:

• "I ain't no fudgepacker"
• "rectum loving queer"
• "what a fag"
• "Silent Post for 3243 Fags who died in Boston today of AIDS"

drmichaeleschmidt@yahoo.com

First post: 2/11/2007

Last post: 6/20/2007

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Schmidt created this account in an attempt to create an artificial firewall between statements he'd made on his trumpetofthelord@yahoo.com account, fearing that he'd jeapordized his 501(c) status.

On 6/21/2007, this account was banned by Google Groups for violation of their Terms of Use.

Some choice quotes:

• "Don't mess with no Mormon ... or they will kill you"
• "[Jon] Faddis [...] is not anywhere near as good as me ..."
• "now kiss off stinkys pro abort pro homo libs"

The Bear ring (pizza250000@hotmail.com)

First post: 1/4/2005

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Some choice quotes:

• "I am not that fatso hillbilly mikey schmidt"
• "you cats are obsessed with that falwellite bibleiter"

Mr. Ed (rockylaneismred@yahoo.com)

First post: 12/8/2004

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Actually, Rocky Lane was the voice of Mr. Ed, and Sheldon Allman was the singing voice of Mr. Ed.

Sue Keifer Hammersmith (suekeiferhammersmith@fastermail.com)

First post: 9/17/2004

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Hammersmith is a contemporary author on homosexuality topics.

Albert J. Gelpi (albertjgelpi@operamail.com)

First post: 9/13/2004

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Gelpi is a contemporary author.

Mai Naem (mainaem@sandiego.com)

First post: 9/11/2004

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Sir. James George Frazer (apollodoros@outgun.com)

First post: 9/8/2004

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Frazer (1854-1941) was a social anthropologist, an expert in the study of myth and religion.

i be gentry and u be not gentry (ibegentry@yahoo.com)

First post: 6/28/2004

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: IP addr 152.163.252.198

TUBAS RULE DUDES (tjtuba@yahoo.com)

First post: 5/18/2004

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notable quotes:

• "Howdy would starve to death before he would steal from anyone. On the other hand as fat as howdy is he has enough fat stored up so that was perhaps a bad example."

The Trumpet of the Lord 501 c 3 (ttotlem@yahoo.com)

First post: 5/11/2004

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: IP addr 68.211.103.120

Go Mikey Go, Go Mikey Go,# 1 trumpet player (trumpetofthelordwannabes@hotmail.com)

First post: 3/9/2004

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

got a high note eh? (highnoter@canada.com)

First post: 2/26/2004

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Signs sometimes as "Mark Holland USFTA". Mark Holland is a member of the Canadian Parliament.

dontbealownoter (timpriddyliedabouttherev@hotmail.com)

First post: 2/9/2004

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: IP addr 68.155.8.55

John Allen Paulos (Johnallenpaulos@quackquack.com)

First post: 8/8/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: IP addr 68.155.10.223, which he says is "the library"

B.O.A. Williams (westernphilosophy2001@yahoo.com)

First post: 8/4/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: IP addr 68.155.13.93; Signs as "BW"

HUNEIN IBN ISHAK (meknowitsyouchip@youareadork.com)

First post: 8/4/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: IP addr 68.155.8.65; Signs as "T Bonz"

Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra (cervantessaavedra@speed-racer.com)

First post: 8/1/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: IP addr 68.155.13.69; Signs as "Bill Lester"

Sir Andrew Barton (urallhispuppets@dangerous-minds.com)

First post: 8/1/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: IP addr 68.155.13.50; Sir Andrew Barton was a famous Scot seafarer known for pirating the English Channel.

Capaneus (Capaneus@crazedanddazed.com)

First post: 7/31/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: IP addr 68.155.5.239; Capaneus, a character of greek heroic legend, was the son of Hipponous and one of the Seven Against Thebes. He was struck down by lightning bolt from Zeus when he was climbing the walls of Thebes, as punishment for his recklessness.

Lydia Lopokova (lebourgeoisgentilhomme@hotmail.com)

First post: 7/30/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: IP addr 68.155.5.239; Lydia Lopokova was the eccentric wife of John Maynard Keynes.

Major Glen Miller (trumpetsofthelord@hotmail.com)

First post: 7/29/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Schmidt doesn't know how to spell "Glenn Miller".

Heinrich Schutz (heinrichschutzrecitare@yahoo.com)

First post: 7/29/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Heinrich Schutz (1585-1672) was a pupil of Giovanni Gabrielli, the first composer to write an opera in German.

Put Some Sizzle in Fizzle Dizzle (mesisthegreatesttrumpetplayer@yahoo.com)

First post: 7/28/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Oxygen deprivation?

Betty Joe Brookwood (baptizedinthespirit@rednecks.com)

First post: 7/23/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Schmidt invents a first name which combines a female name ("Betty") with a male name ("Joe"). Draw your own conclusions.

ALVA SKATES (sk8alva@hotmail.com)

First post: 7/22/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Signs as "Tony". Tony Alva is the founder of Alva Skateboarding Company and a seminal innovator in modern skateboarding technique. Not suprisingly, Alva's real email address is easily obtainable and doesn't match this one.

Rev. Robert Towns (roberttownsnews@yahoo.com)

First post: 7/17/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: After a blissful 6-week hiatus, Mikey ressurects the Robert Towns identity.

Sir Theophile Raynaud (TheophileRaynaud@itookmyprozac.com)

First post: 6/7/2003

Last post: 6/7/2003

Total posts: 14

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Almost all these messages are written in rather pedestrian code (number of characters in each line point to a letter of the alphabet).

Theophile Raynaud was a teacher, theologian, and writer (1583-1663).

gagospelrapman (gagospelrapman@yahoo.com)

First post: 6/5/2003

Last post: 6/5/2003

Total posts: 5

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

FUTUREMAN (bbfutureman@yahoo.com)

First post: 5/27/2003

Last post: ongoing...

Total posts: ongoing...

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Trumpet of the Lord (dynacordsrock@yahoo.com)

First post: 2/11/2003

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notable quotes:

• "Colonel Jake you can use your computer to dress me in pink or whatever you want..."
• "Jesus did not crush that flugelhorn."

Little Monkey Grinder (littlemonkeygrinder@hotmail.com)

First post: 2/4/2003

Last post: ongoing...

Total posts: ongoing...

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: On 2/8/03, identifies "Michael P.Snyder" [sic] as MES's new manager.

The Trumpet Of The Lord Ministry (salpizokurios@yahoo.com)

First post: 12/19/2002

Last post: ongoing...

Total posts: ongoing...

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Signed as "Robert Towns SR" on 1/17/03

Santa Clause (highcainthighenough@yahoo.com)

First post: 12/19/2002

Last post: 12/26/2002

Total posts: 11

S earch groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Lynne Carlson (lynnecarlson@mail2world.com)

First post: 11/11/2002

Total posts: 18

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Lynne Carlson was a lesbian character on the soap opera "All My Children" in 1983.

Bubba Schierer ak.ka. Bubba Y.Rancher (ford99f350kjvonly@yahoo.com)

First post: 10/25/2002

Last post: 11/21/2002

Total posts: 9

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Manny Sanguillen (mannysanguillen@goodnewsmail.com)

First post: 10/19/2002

Last post: 11/22/2002

Total posts: 8

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

M anny Sanguillen was a catcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates starting in 1969.

Carl Friz Bart (professoratmunster@ilovejesus.net)

First post: 11/11/2002

Last post: 11/23/2002

Total posts: 57

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Carl Bart was an eminent Swiss theologian.

jason (dizzyhighnotes@yahoo.com)

First post: 10/17/2002

Total posts: 28

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Aunty Jana (janajobba@lycos.com)

First post: 7/5/2002

Total posts: 6

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Dr. Wayne Rowen lll (kingjames1611istherealbible@yahoo.com)

First post: 6/29/2002

Total posts 51

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

T.J. Burk (usatrumpet@yahoo.com)

First post: 7/29/2002

Last post: 8/31/2002

Total posts: 44

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Also signed several posts as "Robert Lee". Search groups.google.com for posts from this account mentioning Robert Lee Schmidt claims on 1/7/2002 that Burk posts from his computer. On 3/31/2007 Schmidt claims that this is his ministry's official address.

Michael E. Schmidt (trumpetofthelord@yahoo.com)

First post: 12/2/2001

Total posts: ~870

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Also signed name for a time as "T.J. Burk" (see below)

Michael E. Schmidt (flugelhorn@mindspring.com)

First post: 4/25/2000

Last post:

Total posts: ~1190

Searc h groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Announced ministry name change 7/26/2000 in RAMD

Notable quotes: Perhaps kazoo playing is in my blood.

Dan Payne (alex33@bellsouth.net)

First post: 5/21/1999 (signing as Howdy)

Last post: 3/30/2000

Total posts: 23

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Also signed a select few notes as "Dan", so this may actually be a legitimate entity from whose account Schmidt was posting. Early posts refer to free Internet access and a Georgia insurance company. Schmidt later refers to Payne as "a good friend" building Schmidt's site at faithweb.com, as an "elder" and a "manager". Schmidt later refers to Payne at the address darien77@netzero.com.

Howdy (cyberhowdy@aol.com)

First post: 3/30/1999

Last post: 4/20/1999

Total posts: 261

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Rev. Don Wilkie Jr. (freereplay@aol.com)

First post: 3/24/1999

Last post: 3/30/1999

Total posts: 20

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Howdy (aka Xxxxx, aka hWo) (drrevcop@aol.com)

First post: 12/21/1998

Last post: 3/23/1999

Total posts: 1800+

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Called "...the greatest troll ever to smear their fecal verbiage upon [rec.arts.marching drumcorps]"

Pattcs4 (pattycs4@aol.com)

First post: 11/9/1998

Last post: 2/27/1999

Total posts: ~660

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

Notes: Took to signing off as "Archie Bunker" or "Archie" near the end.

This was his wife's AOL address. Schmidt later got his own account after pissing off a bunch of folks in rec.arts.marching.drumcorps (his wife even posted a screed complaining about the treatment of Schmidt)

Lee Wilson (Lwil64@worldnet.att.net)

First post: 5/18/1997

Last post: 5/18/1997

Total posts: 6

Search groups.google.com for posts under this identity

---

Schmidt created a MySpace page with samples of his awful trumpet playing on August 4, 2007. As of Sept. 1, he had over 1000 'friends', which he touted as proof of his professionalism as a trumpet player.

Schmidt created a forum at www.VoyForums.com on 1/17/2003.

• Schmidt calls for death by drowning of a woman determined to be mentally ill (09/13/06)

---

Michael Schmidt, In His Own Words

"by the way, a person can not 'become more of an idiot'
   you either are{ present active indicitive} or you are not."
   -- Michael E. Schmidt, 11/23/1998
   "We have been told that we are the best, I will let you
   decide, but untill you have heard us, you don't have a
   say."
   -- Michael E. Schmidt, 8/16/2000
   "You have never even heard me play before, please,please,
   will the people in this newsgroup please stop commenting
   on how or why I play until you hear me play, thank you."
   -- Michael E. Schmidt, 8/28/2000
   "Heat expands, expanding the length of tubing causes a
   horn to go FLAT. That is why when I record, the studio
   must be at about 55 degrees. Anytime that I play in a
   warm room you can bet that I will have a hard time
   keeping that flugelhorn from going FLAT."
   -- Michael E. Schmidt, 9/25/2000
   "I am a world class flugelhorn player if you buy my c.d.
   you will be able to see that, and on a good day I can
   jam on the trumpet also."
   -- Michael E. Schmidt, 9/27/2000
   "It is others who have called me the greatest flugelhorn
   player who has ever lived, blame them if it has gone to
   my head, at times, without a doubt I am the greatest
   flugelhorn player in the world, after you listen to
   the c.d., you will have no doubts that God has truly
   gifted me to play theat horn for his glory."
   -- Michael E. Schmidt, 9/27/2000
   "I doubt that there is a person on earth that can go
   toe to toe, week after week with me at keeping a
   flugelhorn in tune, I have that down to a science,
   that is what I do best,"
   -- Michael E. Schmidt, 9/28/2000
   "A good trumpet player knows better than to play on
   any type of mouthpiece."
   -- Michael E. Schmidt, 6/17/2001
   

Interesting/Funny Stuff from Others

RAMD posts about Schmidt

• 61 Wacky Howdy Quotes, by Stealth807, 2/27/1999
• One Fine Day . . . around 3 PM, by Michael Cahill, 2/27/1999

Pages/blog postings about Schmidt on the 'net

• Dark Christianity Forum explore Schmidt's connections to Dominionist Theology (great read - h/t Pinku Sensei)
• Kadaitcha Man runs his automated Kook Profiler bot on a Howdy post
• Michael Schmidt's inane guestbook spamming is discussed
• Michael Schmidt waxes poetic on not feeling guilty about being white and german (h/t Colonel Jake)
• Michael Schmidt foams at the thought of having legal action taken against him (h/t Colonel Jake)

Awards and Nominations

Michael E. Schmidt has been nominated for and, in some cases, received, several notable Internet "awards" since 1999.

These include (but are not limited to):

• alt.usenet. kooks (2007):
  • December, 2007 - Winner, Special Ops Cody Memorial Purple Heart; nominee, Tony Sidaway Drama Queen Award, Office of Village Idiot.
  • October, 2007 - Winner, Tony Sidaway Drama Queen Award; nominee, Palmjob Paddle; nominee, Joseph Bartlo Memorial Pathetic Anal Pineapple Award.
  • September, 2007 - Winner, Goofy Azzed Baboon Award
  • August, 2007 - nominee, Loony Maroon Award
  • July, 2007 - Winner, Unabomber Surprise
  • June, 2007 - Winner, Kook of the Month; Nominee, Coward of the Month; Winner, Palmjob Paddle; Winner, Tinfoil Sombrero.
  • May, 2007 - Winner, Special Ops Cody Memorial Purple Heart Winner, Clueless Newbie of the Month. Nominee, Coward of the Month.
  • April, 2007 - Winner, Order of the Holey Sockpuppet Award
  • March, 2007 - Nominee, Special Ops Cody Memorial Purple Heart
  • February, 2007 - Nominee, Joseph Bartlo Pathetic Anal Pineapple Award
• alt.fan.art -bell (2007):
  • Summer, 2007 - Co-winner, Office of Viagra Junky
  • Spring, 2007 - Winner, Cleopatra Award (for denial); Electee, Office of the Viagra Junky (for limp poasting); Nominee, Green Lantern Award for Projection; Nominee, Steve Winter Memorial "Steaming Mound of Hypocrisy" Award.
• rec.arts.marching.drumcorps (1999):
  • winner, Most Dangerous
  • co-winner, Worst Online Adversaries (with RAMD newsgroup)
  • winner, Most Prolific
  • winner, Most Tasteless Comment (2/23/1999, "Re: OT: Re: Howdy & Gays")
  • winner, Marie Antoinette "Let Them Eat Cake" Award for most inane comment on RAMD, (2/25/1999, "Re: OT: Proof Howdy is a liar")
  • winner, Most Annoying
  • winner, Least Constructive Comments of the Year (2/23/1999, "Re: OT: Re: Howdy & Gays")
  • winner, RAMD Whipping Boy/Girl (most flamed person on RAMD