Month: May 2007

Swiss? That’s a new one…

From: SWISS-LOTTO <swisslotto@yahoo.co.uk>
Reply-To: swisslotto@yahoo.co.uk

.uk? For a Swiss Lottery?

Date: Thu, 17 May 2007 18:12:00 -0700
Subject: Re: NOTIFICATION

SWISS-LOTTO
Voltastraat 101, 7903 AA, Hoogeveen, Netherlands.

Netherlands? WTF?

https://www.swisslotto.ch

CONGRATULATIONS!!!…..YOU HAVE WON € 750,000 Euros

<sarcasm>
Woo Hoo! I’m rich!
</sarcasm>

You have been awarded € 750,000 Euros in the SWISS-LOTTO Satellite Software email lottery in which e-mail addresses are picked randomly by Software powered by the Internet through the worldwide website.

Heckuva business model you got there.

Your email address, attached to Ref number 18, 43, 5, 7, 14, 17 with Serial number 2378-32 drew the lucky Numbers 56, and consequently won the lottery in the “A” Category. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of € 750,000 Euros.

Not only do you have a dubious business model, you can’t pick unique winning numbers.

Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European Booklet representative office in Europe as indicated in your play coupon. In View of this, your € 750,000 Euros will be released to you by our accredited claims agent located in Europe. Our European agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your winning funds as soon as you contact them.

Like that’s ever going to happen…

All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web site through computer draw System and extracted from over 800,000,000 companies and individual email addresses.

Is this the same computer you used to “generate” the winning numbers?

This promotion takes place annually. For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning details confidential till your claims is processed and your winning prize remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some unscrupulous elements.

Oops!

To file for your claim, please contact our/your accredited claims agent:

Tania Huffman
Tel: 31-61-970-5454
Email: acreditedclaimsagent@yahoo.co.uk

Provide our/your accredited claims agent with the information as stated below:

1. Name:
2. Address:
3. Age:
4. Sex:
5. Marital Status:
6. Occupation:
7. Country of Residence:
8. Nationality:
9. Telephone Number:
10. Fax Number:
11. Draw Number above:

These details facilitate the due process and the release of winnings to avoid unnecessary delays and complications in the processing of your winnings. Always remember to quote your Reference/serial number in any correspondences with us or our/your designated claims agent.

Congratulations again from all our staff and thank you for being part of our promotions program. Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the winners will result to disqualification.

Oh No!

Sincerely,
Miss. Annie Van Kijk
SWISS-LOTTO NETHERLANDS.
Voltastraat 101,
7903 AA, Hoogeveen, Netherlands.
https://www.swisslotto.ch

A Swiss/Dutch lottery sending email with a .yahoo.uk return address from a computer in Canada. Yeah, right.

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(from the here we go again dept.)

Yet another scam gets past the spam filter…

From: Microsoft Promotion Award Team <agent_coleman_mike@yahoo.co.uk>
Reply-To: microsoftword_award2007@yahoo.co.uk

@yahoo.co.uk? I thought this was a Microsoft promotion.

Date: Mon, 14 May 2007 23:02:31 -0400
Subject: Microsoft Promotion Award Team WINNING NOTIFICATION

Microsoft Award Team
20 Craven Park, Harlesden
London NW10
United Kingdom
Ref: BTD/968/05 Batch: 409978E

Dear Lucky Winner,

I must really be lucky, since I get several of these emails a month.

The prestigious Microsoft and aol

Since when was AOL prestigious?

has set out and sucessfully organised a Sweepstakes marking the new year 2007 anniversary we rolled out over £500,000.00 (Five million Great Britain Pounds) for our end of year Anniversary Draws.

Huh?

Participants for the draws were randomly selected and drawn from a wide range of web hosts which we enjoy their patronage.

Again, huh?

The selection was made through a computer draw system attaching personalised email addresses to ticket numbers. If you ignore this, you will regret it later.

<The Great Cornholio>
Are you threatening me?
</The Great Cornholio>

Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies — Really? What about Google and Yahoo? Your selection process must really suck — I don’t use Internet Explorer and avoid Microsoft Windows.

Your email address as indicated was drawn and attached to ticket number 008795727498 with serial numbers BTD/90806 48302/06 and drew the lucky numbers 14-21-25-39-40-47(20) which subsequently won you £500,000.00 (Five Hundred Thousand Great Britain Pounds) as one of the 10 jackpot winners in this draw. You have therefore won the entire winning sum of £500,000.00 (Five Hundred Thousand Great Britain Pounds). The draws registered as Draw number one was conducted in Brockley, London United Kingdom on the 20th of January 2007. These Draws are commemorative and as such special.

I’m sure they are special…

Please be informed by this winning notification,to file your claims,you are to make contact with your designated agent who shall by duty guide you through the process to facilitate the release of your prize.To file for your claim Please Contact your fiduciary agent

In the English language, it is customary to put some white space after a period. At least you spelled fiduciary correctly.

Mr Jordan Gab
Microsoft Promotion Award Team
Email: microsoftword_award2007@yahoo.co.uk
Phone:+447-0111-49689
Fax:+44-709-2866-251

You are advised to contact your fiduciary agent with the following details to avoid unnecessary delays and complications: Your Name (in Full), Country, Ticket Numbers, Batch Number, Serial Number,Lucky Numbers as indicated in this winning Notification and Phone numbers.Thank you for being part of this promotional award program.

You are advised to go f@#k yourself…

Our special thanks and gratitude to Bill Gates and his associates.We wish you the best of luck as you spend your good fortune.Thank you for being part of our commemorative new year Anniversary Draws.

Sincerely,
Dr Yung Dickson

Wost porn name, ever.

Microsoft Promotion Team

Founded in 1975:Microsoft is a worldwide leader in software, services and solutions that help people and businesses realize their full potential

You see, that’s where you’re wrong. Founded in 1975:Microsoft is a worldwide leader in software, services and solutions that help funnel people’s and businesses’ money to “Bill Gates and his associates.”

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And yet another scam gets past the spam filter…

From: “MICROSOFT EMAIL BETA LOTTERY” <mic22@tappedsteels.com>
Reply-To: ag.newmann1@yahoo.co.uk
Date: Wed, 9 May 2007 15:30:09 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: MICROSOFT WINNING NOTIFICATION

Ooooh, it’s the Microsoft Windows logo — <sarcasm>This email must be legit.</sarcasm>

MICROSOFT WINDOW OFFICE:
CUSTOMER SERVICE
Microsoft Mega Jackpot Email Lottery
Microsoft Building
Goodwick, Pembrokeshire
Manchester
I.P.P Award Dept.
LONDON, U.K

REF NO: MSW/56B-672GH/L
BATCH: 4583JL/WIN

I’m not a big fan of Microsoft, but I’m pretty sure they could do a better job generating unique numbers.

MICROSOFT SWEFT STAKE EMAIL LOTTERY AWARD PROMOTION: UNITED KINGDOM

Finally today, we announce the winners of the MICROSOFT MEGA JACKPOT LOTTO WINNINGS PROGRAMS held 13th of April, 2007. Your company or your personal e-mail address, attached to winning number 23-76-06-54-42-100, With serial number 647489, consequently won in the Tenth lottery category.

Again, I think even Microsoft could do a better job generating unique numbers. WTF does “Tenth lottery category” mean?

You have been approved for lump sums pay out of £750,000 (Seven Hundred and Fifty Thousand pounds sterling) in cash Credited to file REF NO: MSW/56B-672GH/L and winning number 23-76-06-54-42-100. Selection process was carried out through random selection in our computerized email selection machine (TOPAZ) from a database of over 1,000,000 email addresses drawn from all the continents of the world.

Microsoft didn’t get to were it is today by giving money to randomly selected people.

The online draws was conducted by a random selection of email addresses from an exclusive list of 29,031 E-mail addresses of individuals and corporate bodies picked by an advanced automated random computer search from the internet. No ticket were sold but all email addresses were assigned to different ticket numbers for representation and privacy. This is to encourage our prominent Microsoft Internet Explorer users all over the world, and for the Continues use of E-mail.

Oops! I’m not an Internet Explorer user. BTW, I think Microsoft can afford proofreaders.

Your fund (Certified Cashiers Cheque) has been insured with your REF NO: MSW/56B-672GH/L and winning number 23-76-06-54-42-100. To claim your winning prize, contact the fudiciary department by email for Processing and remittance of your prize to you.

fudiciary? WTF?

The Fiduciary Agent:
Name: Mr. Williams Newmann
E-mail: ag.newmann1@yahoo.co.uk
Phone: +447035900519

At this point some photos of random people were used (actually photos of teachers and administrators from different schools). I’ve replaced these photos to protect the innocent.

Mr. Williams Newmann
Fiduciary Agent
Microsoft Mega Jackpot

Do email the above email address all at once. In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember to quote your reference and winning numbers in all correspondences with your claims officer. You are to keep all lotto information away from the general public especially your ticket number and ballot number. (This is important as a case of double claims will not be entertained)

I screwed up, I was supposed “keep all lotto information away from the general public especially your ticket number and ballot number.” I gues I’ll never be able to pick my nonexistent prize.

PLEASE NOTE THAT YOU ARE TO SEND THE BELOW INFORMATION REQUIRED TO CLAIM YOUR WINNING PRIZE:
1.Full Name:……………………………………………………..
2.Address:………………………………………………………..
3.Nationality:…………………………………………………….
4.Age:…………………….Date of Birth:……………………………………
5.Occupation:…………………………………………………….
6.Phone:……………Phone 2:……………….Fax:……………..
7.State of Origin:………………….Country:……………………

Sincerely,
Mrs. Maurrine C. Anner
Secretary

Dr. Andreas Georgetown Online Co-ordinator	Mrs. Maurrine C. Anner Secretary

LOTTERY SPONSOR
Microsoft Corporation U.K.

Why would a Microsoft promotion use a Yahoo email address?

Note;

Do not reply this mail, you are to contact your claims officer immediately by email. Microsoft Electronic Mail Lottery is approved and Licensed by the The International Association of Gaming Regulators (IAGR).

Why would an “Microsoft Corporation U.K.” email originate from a computer in Israel?

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And another scam gets past the spam filter…

From: Online Co-ordinator <ourofficemail1@bellsouth.net>
Reply-To: camelotpayoffice@yahoo.co.uk
Date: Mon, 7 May 2007 13:01:10 -0400
Subject: Final Notification (BATCH Nº.: 2007UKL-01)

The Camelot Group,:
operators of The National Lottery.
3b Olympic Way, Sefton Business Park,
Aintree, Liverpool , L30 1RD

           WINNING NOTIFICATION

The United Kingdom National Lottery wishes to inform you that the results of the E-mail address ballot lottery international program by Great Britain held on the of 17th of April 2007. Your mail account have been picked as a winner of a lump sum pay out of Eight hundred and ninty-one thousand,nine hundred and thirty-four Great Britain pounds £891,934.00 pounds sterlings) in cash credited to file REF NO. REF:UKL/74-A0802742006. This is from total prize money of GBP 4,459,670.00shared among the FIVE (5) international winners in this category.

Considering how often I get “picked” to “win” these “lotteries,” I must really be “lucky.”

All participants for the online version were selected randomly from World Wide Web through computer balloting system drawn from over 100,000 names database, union associations and corporate bodies that are listed online.This promotion is this year’s United Kingdom National Lottery New Year bonanza.

Let me get this straight, this is your business plan:

1. Randomly select emails from a database
2. Award the owners of these emails large cash prizes
3. ???
4. Profit!

I’m sorry, I just don’t get it.

All winning must be claimed not later than 14 working days from this notification. After this time all unclaimed funds will be returned to European Union Treasury as unclaimed. Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications please remember to quote your reference number in all correspondence.

This reference number?

Be advice to keep your

“Be advice” — WTF?

winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program.

We wouldn’t want multiple claims on a nonexistent prize…

Mr Pedro Melvin.
PROCESSING DEPARTMENT
26 Stanhope Road
Kent CT14 6AD London
United Kingdom
Email: camelotpayofficeyahoo.co.uk
Tel: +447045714804

He will brief you on steps to be taken for due processing and remittance of your prize money.

I’m sure he will.

Note below your winning details:
Ticket Nº: 22-1356-4096-988
Serial Nº: A069-07
Lucky Nº: 12-13-21-26-32-39 Bonus-17
File REF Nº.: UKL/74-A0802742007
BATCH Nº.: 2007UKL-01

VERIFICATION AND FUNDS RELEASE FORM
1.FULL NAMES:________2.ADDRESS:__________City________State_________Postcode______Country 3.SEX:_______4.AGE:________5.OCCUPATION:__________6.TELEPHONE NUMBER:__________

You should really learn how to use the carriage return key….

Sincerely,
Mrs. Dianne Thompson
Online Coordinator,
CAMELOT GROUP,
Operator of The National Lottery

Looks like this email came from a computer in the U.S.A. (via Ukraine). And wouldn’t “The National Lottery” use a real email address instead of a yahoo.co.uk address?

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