America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures," use an atlas or a ham radio.
-- Ron Swanson
Category: Quotes
Male and Female Servants
He treated Abram well for her sake, and Abram acquired sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels.
Easter
As all good Christians know, on the third day Jesus emerged from the tomb, appeared before his disciples, squatted and laid a brilliantly colored Easter egg. — Stephen Colbert
But these you may not eat
You may eat any clean bird. But these you may not eat: the eagle, the vulture, the black vulture,the red kite, the black kite, any kind of falcon, any kind of raven, the horned owl, the screech owl, the gull, any kind of hawk, the little owl, the great owl, the white owl, the desert owl, the osprey, the cormorant, the stork, any kind of heron, the hoopoe and the bat.
Tax Day
Will you look at those morons? I paid my taxes over a year ago!
— Homer J. Simpson
And the bat
These are the birds you are to regard as unclean and not eat because they are unclean: the eagle, the vulture, the black vulture, the red kite, any kind of black kite, any kind of raven, the horned owl, the screech owl, the gull, any kind of hawk, the little owl, the cormorant, the great owl, the white owl, the desert owl, the osprey, the stork, any kind of heron, the hoopoe and the bat.
It took a line of thirty cubits to measure around it
He made the Sea of cast metal, circular in shape, measuring ten cubits from rim to rim and five cubits high. It took a line of thirty cubits to measure around it.
Wives should submit to their husbands in everything
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Slaves, obey your earthly masters
Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.
Save for yourselves every girl
Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.